Have you ever watched a boxing match where one of the competitors is way overmatched, and you feel sorry for the guy? It's the match where a KO is inevitable, and he should just fall down and get it over with.
Sometimes a church service can be like that, and as I sat through one recently it felt like I was getting sucker punched over and over. The concepts of "die to self", "take up cross daily", and "sacrifice" shouldn't be such foreign terms in my life. "Show me my sin Lord" revealed several areas that He's provided victory in, but also way too many areas where, once again, I've grown lax, and where, once again, I'm struggling. "Lord, please forgive me" provided too many memories of uttering the same phrase for the same sin 6 months ago, a year ago, or two years ago. For some reason, "I mean it this time, Lord" sounds hollow - I'm tired of uttering the same phrases for the same sins over and over.
And then, through the haze of defeat, the cross comes into view, and the softly spoken words: "Lynn, I died for your sin, I fought, and I won these battles, and my victory and my grace are sufficient for your struggles if you'll accept them - you know this, I don't know why you always forget."
"Father, forgive me for forgetting, for my lack of belief, lack of faith, my sin - I want to serve you, to offer you my best - thank you for your patience, love, forgiveness, for who you are."
My heart is chastised, but my load is lighter - He loves me in spite of who I am.
Remember the boxing match? Submission would be much easier....
"If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me." Luke 9:23
